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Line Edit for Concision and Rhythm

Before after

Tighten sentences without losing voice.

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Line edit my passage. Passage: [PASSAGE]. My voice described in a few words: [VOICE]. Target reduction: [TARGET_CUT_PERCENT] percent.

Show tracked-style changes as before and after in a table, line by line: Original | Edit | Reason. Cut redundancy, weak verbs, adverbs doing a verb's work, filter words, and stacked clauses; vary sentence length for rhythm. Preserve distinctive voice and mark any suggestion that changes meaning. Give me the clean edited version, the word count before and after, and a list of my five most frequent habits so I can watch for them. Do not rewrite content.

Add a list of ten typical redundant phrases with replacements, and a method to read the passage aloud for rhythm, marking spots where breath runs out. Provide a short note on when longer sentences serve the effect and should be kept, and an offer to produce a second edit with a lighter touch.

Also mark any sentence where you were unsure whether a cut would change the meaning, so that I can make the final decision on those.

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